What is the most righteous way to live? It is suitable to say that we are all hopelessly displaced. Our role in the universe can be related to that of an insignificant minnow in a vast ocean. With our ever minuscule presence in the world, we then try to figure out: what is right? As Mad Men poignantly declares, ”There is no big lie. There is no system. The universe is indifferent.” We lose ourselves in the search for a way to win the game of life, similar to how attempts at self help often have their way of leading one astray. Is it necessary to understand oneself? Must we understand ourselves to understand the universe, or understand the universe in order to find ourselves?

There is something poetic about living in the storm. A morally lacking empty, voracious lifestyle is so beautifully destructive it can be mistaken for art. Even the calm before the storm is odic; the knowledge that fear, chaos, excitement, and terror is yet to come brings an odd, unexplainable feeling of peace. We are taught that it is righteous to deny ourselves, but we are not given a sufficient explanation that we can be freely willing to accept. “Fear pushes you out the door, and desire calls to you. Enticing you toward the rocks” (Robert T. Kiyosaki). Fear comes from the possibility of making a wrong decision from which one cannot return, but who is to say that the past which one yearns to return to is at all desirable? Returning prevents the future, and without forward movement so disappears the viable trepidation along with the possibility of good. No reward is received without conceivable cost.

Along with this prospect, let it also be said that in one’s struggle, there is a difference between hating oneself and being helpless to change, and hating oneself but also having the knowledge of the possibility of forgiveness and the opportunity to live as a new and pure person. There was a time during which I reached a point where I could proclaim that I had no desire to end my life because inside I was already dead. However, I am hoping to be saved by the concept of renewal that is taught so thoroughly in religion, which is indubitably applicable in physical as well as spiritual existence. The awakening of my understanding and speculation has provided newfound purpose. The human brain possesses infinite capabilities, all of which are wasted if they are not made use of. There is immeasurable power in our thoughts, so much so that we can both save and ruin ourselves. Thus, we can reflect upon our values. What is our duty in existence? Must we care for one another so that we do not all perish as lost souls?