A Mango a Day

noun: “A strong emotion caused by great worry about something dangerous, painful, or unknown that is happening or might happen.” (dictionary.cambridge.org)

Every time I leave it all behind I fear I will never again recognize any of that which makes me whole. Will I forever be a stranger to myself? Tomorrow I may have lost all hope of fulfilling my dreams just as I may be unable to remember what it is to dream.
Why is it so unclear? I am afraid despite being free. Alone and sad yet safe but helpless, and I have no idea how much longer I can keep my sanity from completely tearing into pieces.
Cynicism seems to shroud any last glimmer of optimism I may have subconsciously hoarded, and I am finally beginning to understand that there is no rescue from the misguided disorientation. I am able only to helplessly watch the happenings of the surrounding world as my life floats along a path designated by irrationality and angst. Impotent and powerless, I allow selfishness to dictate my decisions, driving away any sense of purpose or resolve.
Inevitably, when there is nothing else to say, those who offer consolation can fall only upon emptily assuring that “One day things will work out.”

Please spare a moment to think about those in Nepal affected by the devastating earthquake this past Saturday morning.
If you practice any religion, regardless of which faith, your prayers would mean the world.

Over 2500 have lost their lives so far, with many more left without water, food, and shelter. Furthermore, many schools, religious sites, homes, and government buildings have been destroyed. Hospitals are even being forced to turn away patients due to lack of resources.

Links to the Red Cross and Unicef donation pages are provided below. Any contribution is welcome, as each dollar can provide a few bottles of clean water.

https://www.redcross.org/combined-donate
https://www.unicefusa.org/donate/nepal-earthquake-help-children-now/24226

Thank you.

“If you cannot feed a hundred, then feed just one.” -Mother Teresa

As the world so diligently reminds us, the foundation of our lives is built upon inequality. The most fundamental concept of our helplessness exists at birth, where we survive upon the necessity of complete reliance on our parents’ ability to nurture us. Thus, their circumstance becomes our reality, and regardless of merit or compassion, we are incapable of truly determining the course of our lives until over a quarter of our expected time spans has passed. Even after society has deemed us mature enough to bear the responsibility of our actions, we are so easily restricted by the mold that stability shapes us with or by the throes of uncertainty and necessity surrounding poverty. In this life, we are not owed anything more than our basic human rights. It is but a genetic lottery, contingent on physical appearance, race, sexual orientation, and socio-economic status of the family one is born into. We forget that the circumstances in which we exist do not affect our self worth, which is why it is the duty of all citizens of the earth to not only show awareness, but also to consciously make a positive impact somewhere and somehow. Thus, we arrive at the looming question. What will we do to make the world a better place? Let us work to improve the lives of those who do not have the means to even achieve a standard of living that many societies would deem below the poverty line, to help those who were not given the fair chance to find their paths for success, and to provide for their fundamental necessities such as food and clean water. The idea of creating freedom for future generations is reason enough to devote oneself. Action can be taken by advocating for social change, donating and fundraising for the improvement and advancement of education for the underrepresented. It is unfair that humans are born into drastically different social and economic situations, and although it is a phenomenon older than time, everybody should have a chance to find fulfillment. Hunger and lack of education is inherently unjust, and in this forever advancing Earth, there is no reason why they should not be extinguished.

“Two roads diverged in a yellow wood, And sorry I could not travel both.” -Robert Frost

What does it mean to take the one less traveled by? How can the traveler’s mind be so sure in identifying the road that will not be taken? Will the perpetually arising questions never cease?
It is a state of mind like this in which a traveler may wish for more guidance; a map, a sign, or a familiar tree. We will always hear of the wonderful adventures behind the path we did not choose, and we will always wonder what would have happened had we been able to live in our respective alternate scenarios. Thus, we struggle to justify the decisions we make, preventing us further by hindering future progression. At this point, we the travelers ultimately find ourselves at a standstill. We tell ourselves that guidance would lead us to an answer, but we know that giving the decision to another will only lead us to lose sight of the road we wish to have chosen. Sometimes the fear of the conceivable future is oddly beautiful.

We suddenly realize how insignificant our personal troubles are when faced with the emptiness of a life taken from our world. We subsequently can learn to acknowledge that life may not simply disappear once the body lays to rest. We can make it everlasting in our memories as we are reminded of all the positivity brought to us by this life’s contribution to our existence.

It seems cruel that the world keeps spinning in accordance with the passage of time, even after it halts our own perception with grief, loss, and confusion over the death of one we cherish. Such is the sad nature of our reality. There can only be so much consolation to numb the anguish before it grows into stagnant, hopeless melancholy.

Why must it always be unfair? If only we could have given the life that was taken a few more of our words. If only we could tell this life how honored we feel to have received so much of their kindness and happiness, and how blessed we are to have held their friendship. If only we could thank them for the impact they made by simply being alive.

Although grief repeatedly overcomes reason, sadness cannot ultimately take away the happiness and beauty we received from the wonderful person we knew. It is ceasing to exist in the present and future, but the moments in time that it occupies in our past can never be any less real. As such, its impact should not be overshadowed by the loss of the present and future for which we mourn. All that is and will be eventually becomes the past, just as all that is past was once the future.

“How long is forever? Sometimes, just one second.” -Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland

Let us keep alive the forever that just passed.